07:30 – Alarm rings, hits snooze.
08:16 – Rushes to bathroom. Fixes comb over.
08:35 – Stuck in Traffic.
08:50 – Orders the usual.
08:52 – Pays 5 dollars on Credit.
09:08 – 8 minutes late to work. No one cares.
09:30 – Checks Bank account. It’s Red.
10:00 – Boss calls a meeting. Notices a coffee stain.
10:30 – Finds men’s fitness articles.
10:35 – Researches author. Discovers overweight women.
12:00 – Has lunch with friends. Doesn’t listen to anything they say.
12:20 – Gets upset about executive bankers getting paid too much. Friends nod.
12:55 – Pays for friends with credit.
13:00 – See’s cute girl in cubicle near him.
13:10 – Tries to start a conversation on inner-company communication system.
13:11 – Trash talks the boss.
13:13 – Asks her out.
13:14 – Fails. Surfs the internet.
14:30 – Gets some mediocre work done.
15:45 – Notices student loan payment notification. Due tomorrow.
15:50 – Looks for new job on craigslist.
16:20 – Finds one. Doesn’t apply.
16:30 – Receives email from boss. Surfs Facebook.
17:00 – Responds to email. Leaves work.
17:20 – Happy Hour.
17:45 – Gets mad. Isn’t going to win the bet.
17:55 – Complains to friends that athletes get paid too much.
18:00 – Has a conversation:
Suit guy at the bar asks, “Why are you here?”
– “What do you mean?”
“Why are you here, eating wings?”
– “To watch the game. Why?”
“So you’re paying money to watch the game?”
– “No, I’m paying money for the wings.”
“Never mind buddy, take care.”
19:00 – Games over. Bet Lost. Rushes home for TV.
21:00 – Sips Coke. Hope it helps sobriety.
23:00 – Goes to bed.
Wishes he had more time.
07:30 – Alarm rings, hits snooze.
– JL